if only...

Today as I watch my little ones nap, my mind begins to wonder. Where would I be if only I had listened? Where would my man be if only he had listened? With all of the advice I've been given over the years, if I had listened to and followed it, I would surely not be who I am and where I am today. And although I love all of the people who wanted only the best for me and gave me their advice, I wouldn't want to trade anything that I have to do it over again. I know that those who love me were trying to save me the pain that I experienced (by not listening to them) and keep me from enduring the trials I've faced (by not listening to them). I now am at a place that I can take the advice and trust in God to let me know which path, and whose words to follow. I am thankful that He has led me here. It is only now that I am learning just how much He gave up by sending His Son as a sacrafice. I would die for my children and husband, and I cannot fathom giving them up, much less allowing them to be tortured and ridiculed for someone who could never take their place. I grow more and more amazed at my Holy Father, and I know that I must do more for Him. My prayer is that he use me. I don't know how, why, or when. Until then, I suppose I will be sitting in the treetops waiting for His word to move.